


change your ticket

by poetryhoetry



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Dan Howell, 2009 Phil Lester, First Meetings, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 18:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20728703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetryhoetry/pseuds/poetryhoetry
Summary: safe. a word dan never thought he could use until he met phil.





	change your ticket

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i know i’m realy inconsistent with posting and i’m very sorry for that but i really hope u enjoy this! i used to be a really avid phanfic writer on wattpad but i stopped for a while. but i’m back due to lots of inspiration of an overwhelming softness for these boys so here you go!

i woke up this morning in a warm, soft bed with long arms wrapped around my waist, holding me close. 

i’d never experienced anything like this before.

i’d had sex before, sure, but this had never happened. the person usually left before i woke up, leaving me alone and cold in my rock hard bed.

this experience was so... different.

not different bad, not at all. it incorporated things i didn’t even know sex could have. like, feelings. soft, gentle touches instead of hard, rushed ones. hushed, encouraging whispers in my ear instead of dirty, brash words that, in the end, didn’t mean anything. it made me feel... safe.

i couldn’t remember the last time i felt that. and it was all thanks to phil.

only phil could make me feel the way i felt. warm, secure, protected, cherished. he made me feel like the only person in the world that mattered.

and it didn’t end when the sex ended. it carried on to the next day, when i woke up to the warm embrace of phil spooning me, back to chest, face nuzzled into my neck.

i didn’t want to wake up and face the rest of the world. i wanted to stay in this bubble phil created for me, a place to be when the world became too much to handle. i wanted to stay in his bed forever, wrapped up in the relief of companionship and care. but my eyes betrayed me as no matter how hard i tried to close them again, they wouldn’t stay shut. i sighed, looking down and seeing phil’s arms wrapped around me, pale and freckled and pretty. i moved my hand to lay it on top of his, to feel the soft skin rest beneath my fingertips again, to memorize the feeling if i never got to do this again. i had the urge to turn his hand over and intertwine our fingers, but i didn’t want to wake him. his deep breathing beside my ear alerted me that he was still in deep sleep. i didn’t give in to my temptations, as tempting as it was, simply running my fingertips over the soft skin of the back of his hand. 

i knew his arms and hands were covered in freckles, but i only learned that night that he has freckles everywhere else to. all over his chest, his back, a few dotting his stomach. they seem like such a small detail, but they just make him that much more beautiful.

his skin was so soft too. his hands, soft and gentle with every touch to my skin. his arms, with little hair and smooth, milky skin, dotted with pretty freckles all around. his stomach and chest, pale and soft but everything i expected and nothing of what i expected at the same time. 

one of my favorite parts of him, i discovered, was his eyes. they were such a clear blue, lustful and sensual with blown pupils that night, but calming and comforting on other days before, where i could stare into them for minutes at a time to find specs of yellow and green floating around, too. 

phil was just such a beautiful human being, and that’s only talking about his physical appearance.

i was still smoothing my hand over his when i felt him stir behind me, face nuzzling further into my neck and arms tightening, a change from their slack position during sleep.

i put both my hands over his, stroking my thumbs on the back of his hands. he sighed in contentment, seemingly feeling similar about not wanting to leave this space. i turned around in his arms to see the morning version of phil no one else gets to see.

it was such a sight to see.

his eyes were still half closed from barely waking up, hair sticking up in all directions. his left cheek was still covered in creases from the pillow he slept on and he still looked so peaceful and relaxed it made my heart burst. 

i reached my hand up in a moment of impulse, stroking through his bed hair, soft and messy with sleep. he leaned into it, digging his face into my shoulder. i started playing with his hair with both hands, stopping to massage every once in a while.

feeling bold in the early hours of the morning, i rested my head on top of his, lightly kissing his temple. his arms squeezed me even tighter and closer, as if we came any closer we would become one.

my throat began to tighten and my eyes began to sting but i couldn’t tell exactly why. i wasn’t sad, quite the opposite, actually, i was just overwhelmed with so much positive emotion for just one person. i buried myself further in his hair to cover up my tears, and instead be surrounded by everything phil. 

this didn’t prove to help, however, simply causing my throat to become tighter and my eyes to overflow. a tear landed in his hair and he pulled back, the creases of his face filled with concern. i gave him a watery smile to reassure him, mouthing i'm okay in the quiet space between us. he shook his head but stayed silent, bringing a hand up to rest on my cheek, thumb brushing the skin beneath my eye. my tears overflowed, trailing onto phil’s thumb. he gently put his forehead on mine, carefully brushing our noses together. i let out a sob before whispering, “i've never felt so safe before.” 

his face softened, taking both of my cheeks in his hands and kissing my nose and forehead. “you deserve to feel safe,” he whispered back, eyes cloudy with tears as well. 

my head fell to his shoulder, arms coming around his back to pull him in, tangling my legs with his. i began to sob, but this time more sadly. “i don’t want to leave,” i croaked into his shoulder, breath hitching with sobs. phil’s grip tightened, cradling my head with his hands. 

“we still have a week,” he said reassuringly. “and even after that, i’m not gonna suddenly vanish from your life. i’ll always be there, even when i’m not physically there.” he paused, pulling back to look me in the eye. he rested his hand on my cheek again. “you’ll be able to come around again, and in between those times, i’ll still only be a text or skype call away. try as you might, but i’m not leaving that easily.” he leaned in close again, resting our foreheads together. “i care about you so much, dan. i could never just let you slip away.” 

i shook my head disbelievingly. “you deserve so much more than me.” phil frowned, taking my hand under the sheets and raising it to his lips, briefly kissing my knuckles. 

“what more could i ever ask for other than you?” 

i began to sob again, from the raw emotion and sincerity coming from him. he brought me close to him again, bringing my head to his chest. his heartbeat was erratic. “this is what you do to me, dan. every time i look at you my heart does this.” 

i laughed weakly. “you may need to see a doctor, mate.” i could feel phil shake his head, kissing my forehead instead of responding. 

“i hope you know one day how much worth you actually have.”


End file.
